New Year...New Blog...Welcome 2010!

Well, here goes nothing! I am new to this blog world, so let me introduce myself. My name is Missy Avant. I've been married for over 20 years to my best friend & love of my life!!! I have 3 amazing, beautiful, & talented children & I'm so thankful that I get to homeschool & be with my little buddies all the time! My family rocks my world!!!

I love to travel, going to the movies, teaching, helping deliver babies, helping new parents, mentoring a group of 8th grade girls, watching reality tv, & I have more unnecessary entertainment trivia constantly bouncing around inside my head than anyone ever should have (one of my friends has dubbed me the "Pop Culture Queen"...I can tell you the name of a movie by you giving me the actors & vice versa, I can tell you who is dating whom & who is having who's baby...see, absolutely unnecessary).

My life revolves around my Lord & Savior and my most amazing family!!! My world just happens to involve a few extra pieces than most people's worlds. My family has been uniquely touched by a disease that is underrepresented, misunderstood, and frightening. Here is that story...(if you nod off, don't worry, I'll still be here when wake up).

On December 4, 1988, at the age of 19, my pastor & his wife (whom I used to babysit for) decided to set me up with my pastor's brother, Michael. 3 months later we were engaged & 3 months later we were married, yes, that is 6 months later (June '89)!!! We like to tell people that when we got married, it was only the 5th time we had seen each other in person, since I lived in TX (I'm just a Plano, TX girl) & he in SC. Once married, I picked up my roots & headed to Columbia, SC, where Michael was in school (you have no idea how hard it is for a TX girl to leave TX). After graduation in '91, we then moved to Little Rock, AR for Michael to continue his education. Here, I was able to finish my teaching degree & began teaching elementary school. After almost 7 yrs. of marriage, Michael & I were expecting our 1st child...the time was full of excitement, anticipation, & impatience. Life was so much fun & we were totally blessed. However, in October '95, Michael began to notice symptoms of something that I was unaware of while on a business trip in Georgia. When he returned home, he began to explain to me what was going on & then proceeded to go see a Dr. My beloved was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, at the age of 30. What? This can't be right! How is this possible? Isn't this called Juvenile Diabetes? Our time of excitement & anticipation turned into a time of confusion & uncertainty. What does this mean? We each dealt with the news differently. The diagnosis touched me & affected my life, but he was the one in charge of his health. I felt helpless as I watched from the periphery, gaining more knowledge & watching my beloved deal with such a blow. Would we ever be able to be carefree again? Would our life ever get back to "normal"? Life would never be normal again, our life will always be full of fingersticks, low & high blood sugar & insulin...but, life did continue to move along. It moved right along to where we will be celebrating our 21st anniversary this summer (stop adding to see how old I am), we have 3 amazing children whom I homeschool & life is always hectic & wonderful! As the years have gone by, Michael's treatments have gone from multiple insulin shots a day, to now an insulin pump. The difference in treatments has been amazing!

On December 14, 2006, I took our then 10 yr. old son, Tate, 7 yr. old daughter, Haley, & our 3 yr. old daughter, Emma to an exciting Dr's appointment. We love the yearly check up to see how much everyone weighs & how tall they are now. Emma was particulary excited since she had recently potty trained & was so excited about pee peeing in a cup (she was so proud). While at the Dr's appointment, without any forewarning or symptoms, our youngest, my baby, Emma was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. What? We're only here for her 3 year old check up...just 4 days ago she was only 2. This can't be right!!! How is this possible? There must be some mistake. When I heard her test results & the numbers, realization slammed into me like a freight train & the tears began to fall against my will (because at this point I did have some knowledge of what is & is not a normal blood sugar...sort of). I kept telling myself to be brave & not lose it in front of my other kids. However, when I looked at our son who began to cry & told me he "wished it was him instead", all bets were off & the blubbering began. We were whisked away to the endocrinologist's office without delay. They wanted me to take care of someone with diabetes (that's Michael's department)? How were they expecting me to remember anything they were telling me when my brain was in total shock & denial? I began to grow in my understanding of diabetes exponentially, as our lives began to swerve out of control. My mind immediately went to Steel Magnolias & Julia Roberts' character who had diabetes & died having a child...will my baby be able to have babies? How will her little mind process this? Thankfully, that question was answered almost immediately. The nurses proceeded to give me a shot (or pokey, as we call them) to show myself & her that it didn't hurt (which it really didn't). Emma then picked up the syringe walked up to her Daddy & jammed it into his arm (practically hitting bone) to which he responded painfully that it didn't hurt. She never looked back & her Dr. informed us that, "Yep, she's gonna be just fine!" However, the whole diagnosis came as a total shock & I went through an extensive grieving period. I mourned the life I thought my child was supposed to have!!! And, I wondered what did I do or could I have done to prevent this? This past December, Emma turned 6 (going on 26) & in her short little life & a little over 3 years with this disease, she has had close to 10,000 fingerpricks & around 3,000 injections. She will be insulin-dependent for the rest of her little life or until JDRF delivers the cure...this is NOT something she will outgrow. Thankfully, she is always full of smiles, laughter, & 6 year old mischief, amidst her daily diabetes routine. She is already very capable at managing some of her routine...she can do her own fingersticks & can tell you exactly what she needs depending on her levels. We don't call her Miss "Emmapendent" for nothing! She will often ask when her, what she calls "diabeauties" is going away, or has made the statement on her birthday- "now that I'm 4, I won't have diabeauties anymore" (since she got it for her 3rd birthday, she assumed it would go away for her 4th). What is a mother supposed to say to that? I hate that her small little self already realizes the implications of this disease. One evening, when Emma was 3, while visiting family, we were outside on a very clear night when she looked up at my husband & myself and informed us that she had "just wished on a star that my diabeauties would go away." No 3 year old should know to even wish for something like that...those wishes should be saved for wishing to be a princess or mermaid, not this!!! What does this mean? Will our lives ever be able to be normal again? Life would never be normal again...our life will always be full of fingersticks, low & high blood sugar, insulin, & 2am sugar checks (I swear I got more sleep when they were newborns). But, life has thankfully, continued to move along, always hectic & always wonderful!!!

But, just a little over a year ago, on October 1, 2008, our 9 year old daughter, Haley, also began showing signs of diabetes. This can't be right...she has already had her medical crisis...in 2007, she was diagnosed with Grave's Disease (hyperthyroidism), in which she became allergic to one medication, & the other tried to kill her liver. She then proceeded on to have 2 rounds of radiation (now there is a word that brings fear to any mother's heart). We did some tests & confirmed our fears. Haley was also diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. All of the old familiar emotions & questions came crashing in. What? How is this possible? How can both of our daughters now have diabetes? How can one family have so many people with diabetes? There must be some mistake. I worried, how will this affect our sweet Haley? She is our child who believes that every day is the "best day ever". We couldn't believe this was happening again...after we all had a BIG cry & the realization settled in (my husband & I were still very raw with emotions), when Haley looked at us & asked, "are we still going to the pumpkin patch?" Reality check...my husband & I put on our game faces & went to the pumpkin patch & tried to proceed. All the while, we were mourning yet another life that we thought our child should have. Just since her diagnosis, she has already endured a lifetime of fingersticks & injections. The difference with her diagnosis is that she is older & has been around this disease & so already has been able to do most of everything herself. In the beginning, however, she was terribly scared of needles & would cry at the thought of having her finger stuck...when at lunch one day, her then 4 yr. old sister, Emma (without even skipping a beat) looked at her, shaking her head & said "poor precious thing". Her little sister was not feeling the sympathy since she had been doing this for almost 2 years at the time. We have, unfortunately, become pretty good at this diabeauties "stuff". We now know that our lives are different, our lives will always be full of fingersticks, low & high blood sugars, insulin & 2am sugar checks. However, our definition of "normal" has definitely changed...but, life has, thankfully, continued to move along. Always hectic & always wonderful!

To see our family from the outside, you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference from any other family (until you look a little closer). You will notice things that are a little different, like a "pump pouch" on my babies, a tube peeking our from their clothes, medical alert bracelets, & a bag packed & ready for any given time when its contents are vital for the survival of my family (forget American Express...these bags are the things I never leave home without). What appears to be normal is because there is a lot of work going on behind the scenes to keep our children healthy. Because of this "normalcy" most people don't look close enough & assume that if we just changed our diet, things will get better. Or, that they will grow out of it, or assume that diabetes already has a cure with insulin. I often have to let others know that, unfortunately, this will not be something they can outgrow & insulin is NOT a cure, it is merely life support!!! Recently, a friend asked what would happen if we just stopped giving insulin...um, they would eventually die within weeks or months!!! I have learned that a lot of people under-estimate the gravity & seriousness of diabetes (I used to be one of those people) and that just as short a time ago as 50 years, diabetes was a death sentence. I am so thankful for the time in which we live & the advances in technology (Michael, Haley, & Emma are all on insulin pumps). However, I want MORE...I guess I'm just selfish that way...I want a cure!!! We feel confident that this is within our reach & highly possible before our girls go to high school or hopefully sooner!

It is my duty as Emma & Haley's mom, & Michael's wife, to bring awareness to our communities & to raise money for research. We have become very active in our local Diabetes community & I have been given the opportunity to be the speaker at many fundraising events. We will get the word out. We will achieve Emma's "wish upon a star" of wiping out "Diabeauties"!!

Whew...you made it! Do your eyes & brain hurt? If you got this far...kudos! Thanks for listening to/reading my 1st blog ramblings...I promise they won't all be this long! :0)